When a child is struggling, it’s not enough for support to exist on paper—it has to work in practice. Drawing from lived experience and expert advocacy insight, this episode of Unlocking Dyscalculia walks parents through what advocates do, when to seek help, how to use data effectively, and what to do when IEPs or 504 plans fall short.

Table of Contents

Why Advocacy Matters

In this episode of Unlocking Dyscalculia, host Adrianne Meldrum sits down with Lorraine Hightower, a dyslexia advocate, consultant, and parent whose professional mission was shaped deeply by personal experience. Their conversation centers on advocacy—what it looks like, why it matters, and how parents and teachers can work together to better support students with learning differences.

This episode is especially powerful for parents and educators who suspect a child is capable but struggling to show what they know. Lorraine’s story, combined with Adrianne’s perspective as both a professional and a parent, highlights the urgent need for early awareness, informed support, and collaborative advocacy.

A Chance Meeting—and a Shared Mission

Adrianne and Lorraine first met at the International Dyslexia Association National Conference in 2024. While the moment itself was lighthearted—Adrianne dressed as Russell from Up during Halloween week—the connection they formed was meaningful.

Lorraine Hightower’s Background: From Parent to Advocate

Lorraine Hightower is an educational advocate based in Northern Virginia, specializing in supporting students with dyslexia. However, as she explains, dyslexia rarely exists in isolation.

Most of the students Lorraine works with also have co-occurring learning differences, such as:
🔴ADHD
🟠Dyscalculia
🟡Dysgraphia
🟢Speech and language challenges (especially in early childhood)

A Parent’s Wake-Up Call

Lorraine’s advocacy journey began with her own son. He was bright, capable, and clearly intelligent—but school told a different story. Teachers raised concerns about his attention, reading, writing, spelling, and math facts. Eventually, through private and school-based evaluations, Lorraine learned her son had dyslexia, dysgraphia, ADHD, and dyscalculia.

What surprised her most wasn’t the diagnosis—it was that the school system, despite good intentions, didn’t know how to support him.

That realization changed everything.

Turning Fear and Frustration into Purpose

Like many parents, Lorraine initially felt fear, confusion, and frustration. She knew her child could learn, yet the system seemed unequipped to help him succeed.

Instead of accepting that gap, she channeled her experience into action. Lorraine became:
🟣A certified dyslexia advocate
🔵A professional mediator
🟢A guide for families navigating special education systems

Today, her work supports families at every stage of the process:
🟢The early “something doesn’t feel right” phase
🟡Testing and identification
🟠Securing 504 Plans or IEPs
🔴Navigating disputes and resolution processes with school districts

Her approach focuses on collaboration whenever possible—helping families and schools work together to support the child.

Adrianne’s Perspective: Strengths Can Be Missed

Adrianne shares a deeply personal parallel. Her own son has dyslexia and ADHD, and while he is gifted in mathematics, he struggled for years to show that ability in school.

It wasn’t until fifth grade, after appropriate testing and support, that his mathematical strengths became visible. With reading supports in place, he began to thrive—thinking deeply and creatively about math.

This experience highlights an essential truth for parents and educators alike:

When we don’t understand how a child learns, we risk overlooking their strengths.

What Is an Educational Advocate?

Lorraine begins by clarifying an important distinction: not all educational advocates do the same work.

Some advocates are generalists, while others are specialists. If a child has dyslexia, dyscalculia, or other language- or math-based learning differences, it’s essential to work with an advocate who understands those specific needs.

An advocate’s role is not to replace the parent. Instead, advocates work hand in hand with families to clarify concerns, define goals, and communicate effectively with school teams.

The Advocate’s Role: Strategy, Guidance, and Support

At its core, advocacy is about helping families navigate a complex system.

Lorraine explains that advocates:
➡️Help parents articulate concerns, fears, and goals
➡️Strategize before meetings so conversations stay focused and productive
➡️Take the lead in discussions with school teams when parents feel overwhelmed

Special education can be a lengthy and confusing process, with strict timelines, legal considerations, and multiple paths forward. Advocates serve as guides, helping parents understand:
✅The pros and cons of different intervention options
✅Whether proposed services are truly appropriate and effective
✅How placement and supports may impact a child’s long-term progress

Advocates as Shields for Parents

One of the most powerful roles advocates play is serving as a buffer—or shield—for parents.

Many parents of children with learning differences share similar challenges themselves. In fast-paced school meetings filled with jargon, data, and paperwork, it can be difficult to process information or respond confidently in the moment.

Advocates:
☑️Understand special education law (though they are not attorneys)
☑️Know parent rights and procedural safeguards
☑️Recognize what an effective, legally sound IEP or 504 plan should include

Their presence allows parents to stay engaged without feeling pressured to master every technical detail on the spot.

Accountability and Collaboration With Schools

Lorraine emphasizes that advocacy does not mean assuming bad intent.

Educators are often overworked and under-resourced, and systems can unintentionally fail students. Advocates help ensure that important responsibilities don’t fall through the cracks.

If a child has an IEP or a 504 plan, those supports are not optional—they are legal obligations. Advocates can respectfully remind school teams of these requirements and, when necessary, strengthen the conversation to ensure student needs are met.

This may involve:
🟣Clarifying unmet goals
🔵Addressing gaps in services
🟢Advocating for changes when plans are not being implemented effectively

When Should Parents Consider an Advocate?

One of the most common questions Lorraine hears is: How do I know when it’s time to bring in an advocate?

These patterns often signal that something in the school environment is not working for the child.

2️⃣Behavioral Issues in Young Children
Lorraine has seen even kindergarten and first-grade students face suspension or expulsion due to behaviors rooted in frustration—not defiance.

When learning differences go unidentified, behavior is often misinterpreted. Advocates help schools peel back the layers to ask:
❓Why is the child responding this way?
❓What unmet learning need might be driving this behavior?

3️⃣Feeling Dismissed in IEP or 504 Meetings
If a child already has an IEP or 504 plan and parents feel unheard, dismissed, or sidelined, that is a significant concern.

Under both:
➡️Section 504 (equal access and nondiscrimination)
➡️IDEA (special education law)

Parents are legally entitled to meaningful participation and equal voice. When that partnership breaks down, an advocate can help restore balance.

4️⃣ Lack of Academic Progress
Perhaps the most critical sign is when a child is not making progress.

Whether or not a formal plan is in place, a lack of growth signals the need for change. Advocates can help teams:
✅Analyze assessment and progress-monitoring data
✅Identify specific skill gaps
✅Ask deeper questions about instructional effectiveness

Progress—not just compliance—must always be the goal.

When School Meetings Feel Like “Us vs. Them”

Adrianne names a feeling many parents recognize immediately. Walking into school meetings—especially IEP or 504 meetings—can feel like stepping into an “us versus them” situation.

This tension is rarely intentional. School teams are often communicating as a unit, using shared language and systems that parents aren’t familiar with. Without grounding or preparation, parents may feel defensive, anxious, or even attacked.

This is one reason advocacy—whether through preparation, support, or a professional advocate—can make such a meaningful difference.
 

Why Data Matters in Advocacy Conversations

Lorraine explains that while parent concerns and instincts are valid, data is what drives action within school systems.

Schools rely on data to:
🔴Identify areas of need
🟠Determine eligibility for services
🟡Decide which supports or interventions to provide

Understanding what data exists—and how to access it—helps parents participate more fully and confidently in decision-making.

What Types of Data Should Parents Look For?

If a child is enrolled in a public school, they are typically given multiple assessments throughout the year. These often occur:
🟣At the beginning of the school year
🔵At midyear
🟢At the end of the school year

Most assessments focus on reading and math, with writing assessments used less frequently. Some districts also use early literacy screeners, especially as awareness of literacy challenges grows nationwide.

However, many parents never see the full results of these assessments.

Ask for the Full Picture—Not Just the Score

Lorraine encourages parents to request complete assessment reports, not just summary pages or composite scores.

A single number—without context—doesn’t tell a meaningful story. Parents should feel empowered to ask:
❓What is this score measuring?
❓What is the comparison group?
❓Is my child meeting grade-level benchmarks?
❓Does this score indicate risk?

Every assessment includes interpretation guidelines. Parents have the right to understand what the data actually means.

Pairing School Data With Classroom Observations

If assessment data raises concerns, the next step is conversation.

Lorraine recommends asking teachers:
➡️What are you observing in the classroom?
➡️Are you noticing work avoidance, fatigue, or frustration?
➡️Do these data points align with what you’re seeing day to day?

When both data and teacher observations point to concern, parents may consider requesting a comprehensive psychoeducational evaluation.

Why Comprehensive Evaluations Are So Important

A formal evaluation is often the most effective way to begin a meaningful conversation with a school district.

Unlike grades—which can be subjective—psychoeducational evaluations use norm-referenced, standardized measures. These compare a child’s skills to same-age and same-grade peers nationwide.

Lorraine emphasizes that grades alone cannot answer questions such as:
🎯How strong is my child’s math fact fluency?
🎯How is their decoding or phonemic awareness?
🎯Are problem-solving skills developing as expected?

A letter grade simply doesn’t provide that level of insight.

The Hidden Struggle of “Holding It Together”

Adrianne shares a powerful personal example familiar to many parents. Her son was able to “hold it together” at school, but at home, the cost was enormous.

Homework took hours. Meltdowns were frequent. Emotional exhaustion was constant.

When assessment questionnaires were shared with teachers, many responded with surprise—they hadn’t realized how much he was struggling.

This experience highlights a critical reality: many students with learning differences fly under the radar.

Lorraine explains that students with dyscalculia, dyslexia, and other learning differences are often of average or above-average intelligence. They are hardworking, compliant, and motivated—qualities that can mask their struggles.

These students may:
✔️Exhaust themselves trying to keep up
✔️Fall apart emotionally at home
✔️Avoid school or social activities

Their effort is invisible unless adults look deeper.

Why Parent Observations Matter

While school systems prioritize formal data, parent observations are also essential.

Lorraine explains that anecdotal information helps demonstrate the adverse impact of a learning difference.

Such as:
🔴Homework taking three hours
🟠Emotional shutdowns or avoidance
🟡Physical exhaustion after school

Leading With Data Instead of Emotion

Advocating for your own child is emotionally charged. Adrianne acknowledges how easy it is for parents to question themselves or carry guilt into meetings.

Lorraine explains that this is where advocates can be especially helpful. Skilled advocates lead with data—not emotion—allowing the evidence to speak.

While schools may empathize with emotional stories, meaningful action typically follows data-supported requests, especially when multiple data points confirm concern.

When parents understand how to gather, interpret, and share data, advocacy becomes less confrontational and more collaborative.

Data creates a shared language—one that helps parents, educators, and advocates work toward the same goal: supporting students in ways that allow them to thrive.

When Plans Exist—but Aren’t Implemented

Once a student has a 504 Plan or an IEP, families often expect relief. On paper, accommodations and services are in place to support the child. But what happens when those supports aren’t actually happening?

Parents may begin to notice things like:
➡️Extra time on tests not being given
➡️Word problems not being read aloud as written in the plan
➡️Assistive technology missing or inconsistently used

These moments can feel confusing and frustrating—especially when families assume the plan itself guarantees implementation.

Understanding 504 Plans vs. IEPs

An important distinction shared in this conversation is the difference between a 504 Plan and an IEP.

If a 504 Plan is not being followed, parents should contact the school’s 504 Coordinator and clearly state their concern:

“I’m concerned that my child’s 504 Plan is not being implemented as written, and it feels out of compliance.”

This opens the door for the school to self-correct while reinforcing the seriousness of the plan.

Taking a Closer Look at IEPs

IEPs are more complex and include multiple components that must work together. One of the first places advocates look is the Present Levels of Performance section.

Shockingly, it is not uncommon to see outdated data—sometimes years old—still being used to justify services. If a student is in ninth grade but the data reflects third-grade performance, the plan is no longer aligned with the child’s current needs.

Advocacy begins with asking:
✅What does the current data say about my child’s needs?
✅Do we need updated assessments?
✅Are the identified needs still accurate?

Are the Goals Doing Enough?

Once needs are clearly identified, goals must be examined carefully. Strong IEP goals should be:
🟣Specific
🔵Measurable
🟢Attainable and realistic
🟡Time-bound

But there’s another critical question parents should ask: Are these goals ambitious enough?

All children are expected to make at least one year of academic progress per year. Students with learning differences often need to make more than one year’s progress to close existing gaps. Yet school teams may hesitate, worrying about overwhelming the student.

Low expectations—no matter how well-intended—do not lead to meaningful progress.

One Intervention, Many Goals

Families are sometimes told that their child can only have a limited number of goals. However, high-quality, specially designed instruction can address multiple needs at once.

For example, structured literacy can simultaneously support:
🔴Phonemic awareness
🟠Decoding
🟡Encoding
🟢Fluency
🔵Comprehension

Under the right instruction, multiple goals can live under one instructional umbrella—without overwhelming the child.

Accommodations Are Not “Giving Up”

Another common misconception is that accommodations somehow prevent skill growth. In reality, accommodations allow students to show what they know while they are still learning.

A student with math fact fluency challenges may still be working toward improvement, but if they are in fifth grade, they also need tools—like a calculator—to access grade-level content and assessments.

Support and remediation are not opposites; they are meant to work together.

When a “Good” IEP Still Isn’t Working

Even when an IEP looks strong on paper, implementation may fall apart. When that happens, families have the right to reconvene the IEP team and ask why.

Common barriers include:
➡️Lack of teacher training
➡️Insufficient time or intensity of intervention
➡️Inappropriate instructional setting
➡️Use of an ineffective curriculum
➡️Staff unfamiliarity with the student’s disability

Often, it is a combination of factors—not a single failure.

Why Advocacy Matters Here Most

This is where advocacy becomes especially powerful. Parents are experts on their children, but they may not know how to evaluate whether an IEP is truly designed to lead to meaningful progress.

Advocates bring experience, comparison, and perspective. They help families ask:
❓Is this IEP strong compared to what should be provided?
❓Are these goals ambitious enough?
❓Will this plan actually close learning gaps?

Advocacy is not about conflict—it is about clarity, collaboration, and ensuring that support systems do what they were designed to do.

When Kids Look Fine—but Aren’t

One of the hardest realities for parents to navigate is advocating for a child who appears to be doing well. Gifted and twice-exceptional (2e) students often compensate so effectively that their struggles are overlooked entirely. High cognitive ability can mask dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia, ADHD, or other learning differences—until a barrier appears that accommodations could have removed all along.

Lorraine shared a powerful example of a gifted student who dreamed of becoming an engineer. Despite exceptional math ability, a required writing assessment became an insurmountable obstacle because he had dyslexia and no accommodations. Once a 504 plan was in place, everything changed. He accessed the program, pursued engineering, and ultimately went on to Virginia Tech. A single accommodation altered the trajectory of his life.

This is the reality for many twice-exceptional learners: they don’t look “substantially restricted” on the surface, yet their effort level, exhaustion, and emotional toll tell a very different story. Parents often find themselves reteaching entire school days at home, scribing work, reading aloud, or scaffolding assignments just to help their child survive. When that invisible labor stays hidden, schools may never see the full picture.

Why Sharing the Hard Parts Matters

As difficult as it can feel, sharing what happens at home is essential. Parents often carry guilt or shame around their child’s learning differences and try to quietly compensate—but that can unintentionally delay support. When schools believe a child is functioning independently, the urgency to intervene fades.

Disclosing the reality—hours-long homework, emotional meltdowns, avoidance, or complete exhaustion—is not complaining. It is data. It helps school teams understand the adverse impact of a learning difference and opens the door to appropriate supports.

Progress Is Happening—But Gaps Remain

There is real momentum happening across states: increased awareness of learning differences, changes to teacher preparation programs, improved literacy training, evolving math instruction, and broader acceptance of assistive technology. Barrier assessments are being questioned, and outdated curricula are slowly being replaced.

At the same time, awareness does not equal implementation. Knowledge gaps persist, and many families still encounter resistance or outdated practices. Systems this large do not change overnight—but they do change when enough voices are heard.

Your Voice Is More Powerful Than You Think

Lorraine shared how parent advocacy at school board meetings and state education forums led to meaningful legislative change, including mandatory teacher training in dyslexia. One of the most striking insights: when elected officials hear from just five constituents on the same issue, it often moves onto their agenda.

Parents are not “just one voice.” Emails, phone calls, letters, and public comments matter. While advocating for your own child, you can also shape a system that works better for the children coming next.

A Hopeful Way Forward

The strategies that support students with learning differences ultimately benefit all learners. When instruction becomes clearer, more structured, more accessible, and more flexible, everyone rises.

This series exists to remind families that:
➡️Struggling doesn’t always look like failing
➡️Plans only work when they’re implemented well
➡️Data and lived experience both matter
➡️Advocacy is collaborative—not confrontational

✅And meaningful change is possible

As Lorraine beautifully put it: advocacy is about “putting the count back in accountability.” These protections exist for a reason. Our children are capable, resilient, and deserving of systems that allow them to truly show what they know.

If you’re feeling unsure about where you are in the process—whether you’re just starting, stuck with an ineffective plan, or supporting a twice-exceptional learner—support is available. Advocacy is not about doing more alone. It’s about doing the right work, together.

You’re not alone in this.

Connect with Lorraine at lorrainehightower.com to find resources, advocacy support, and parent training designed to help you move forward with confidence.

Ready for Support? A Special Offer for Made for Math Families

Advocating for your child can feel overwhelming—especially when you’re trying to interpret evaluations, understand school data, and communicate effectively with your child’s school team. To help families take the next step with clarity and confidence, Lorraine is offering a special thank-you to the Made for Math community.

🎯60-Minute Virtual Parent Consultation

Parents can send up to three documents in advance, such as:
🟣A private or school-based evaluation
🔵An IEP or 504 plan
🟢Tutor reports or progress monitoring data

During the consultation, Lorraine will help you:
🔴Identify what may be missing or misaligned in your child’s current plan
🟠Clarify what to ask for next from the school district
🟡Learn how to communicate your concerns and data effectively

You’ll leave with a prioritized, actionable roadmap you can use right away.

💵 Investment: $497
💛 Made for Math Special: $397 when you mention “Made for Math”

This consultation is designed to meet you wherever you are in the process—whether you’re just beginning to wonder if something isn’t right or you’re navigating an existing IEP or 504 plan.
If you’re ready for clear guidance, expert insight, and practical next steps, this is a powerful place to start.

MFM Authors